9. After 2001 years of research, wrinkles still aren't attractive.
8. Heff looks exactly like her dead grandfather.
7. She can find someone younger with just as much money.
6. Cause everytime she's turned on she has to wait 2 hours before Heff's viagra kicks in.
5. Heff could die while they're in bed and she would be a murder suspect.
4. She has a low self esteem and cant compete with the other blonde girls that look EXACTLY like her.
3. Heff's dick fell off cause of old age while she was blowing him... Without Heff's junk, there's no honeymoon so she left.
2. She already sold her soul to the devil, she has nothing to give to the Lord "in Holy matrimony"
1. She's too scared to get tempted to switch Heff's heart medicine with Panados.
The Tiger Himself
follow me on twitter @TTigersstory