10. Change the name of the club to “Punch”. I mean “Hush”
doesn’t really reflect the true nature of a club and “Punch” seems more
fitting.
9. Give their bouncers boxing gloves so as to leave no
evidence next time.
8. Change their twitter bio to:” Upmarket happening spot in
Rosebank where you get punched in the face if you’re a girl”.
7. Put an "Enter At Own Risk" sign in the V.I.P section, and Minnie's before and after picture to emphasize the warning.
6. Add a requirement
to being in V.I.P besides buying bottles… A disclaimer must be signed that when
you’re in V.I.P you risk being assaulted by bouncers... especially if you're a girl.
5. Offer free “punch” to all ladies that arrive before 11.
4. Sell restraining orders and gum guards at the bar against the bouncers so they can’t get close to customers. And maybe offer free restraining orders to the first 50 that enter the club.
3. Include a V.I.P clause that if someone has more money
than you and has a foreign accent, they can replace your V.I.P seats anytime
they want. They can also order the bouncers to do whatever they like to you,
but the bouncers can only harm girls.
2. Have a "one punch, free drink" policy put in place.
1. Have a police branch inside the club so charges can be laid quicker without disruption so Stefano can make more money. And maybe have a courtroom in the club aswell so they can send the perpetraitor behind “bars”.
The Tiger Himself
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