9. Go to sleep straight after sex, wake up before her and make yourself breakfast. Sit in the TV room and wait. When she comes in all confused look suprised and say... "leaving already?!"
8. Tell her you think your relationship has reached that stage where you can meet each others parents and ask... "How about today?!"
7. Tell her you'll be forever grateful that she helped confirm that you're gay. No woman wants to be the girl that turned a man gay.
6. Act like you feel guilty for cheating on your girlfriend and start crying. Ask her to leave before the guilt consumes you fully. Probably the most sublime. You get points for looking like the good guy, problem is you might lose points for suggesting she was a mistake.
5. Take a nice, long, squeaky fart with the most horrible smell and after it's over say... "I think I might've smudged the sheets with that one."
4. Tell her how much you love her and that you're gonna live happily ever after. Don't forget to mention how many kids you wanna have and what you guys will call them.
3. Act like you have short term amnesia, jump out of bed and ask her who she is and what she's doing there. After she's done explaining act like you understand. Then act shocked again and ask her who she is and what she's doing there. After 5 times doing that she'll be outie for sure.
2. Pull out a dildo with a strap and beg her to use it on you.
1. Get your friends to act like Cheaters detectives and they've found you cheating. She'll be outa there quicker than the one minute round you had with her.
And that's The Tiger's Story follow the tiger on twitter @flue_id